A few days ago, Saturday felt perfect, my heart ached to know that you weren't here to witness the day.

A few days before i'm leaving, i'm sick to my stomach just thinking about it.

Just yesterday, I had a conversation with my mum, she talked mostly. About random things. She told me that she's been tired these days, "perhaps age is catching up."

It made me sad.

I don't think it'd ever be possible to get over the death of a love one. My life is changing. I am changing. Suddenly somethings are not so important anymore.

Happiness comes from within.

The four walls, the repeating Nat Geo adverts and the unnerving frustration of free time.

Its been sometime. Music that feels good and so accurately describes the life that you crave for. Can't put a finger to how good some songs are they just simply light up your soul. It is a drug that I will never ever regret taking.

This illusion is just so real, its like you are finally at peace with yourself and the world.

I'm nonchalant about a lot of things and it may seem like I don't care but its just the only way I know how to deal. So you can go ahead and put me down, be as unpleasant as you want, cut my lane then flash me, look straight past me or laugh at me. I don't care and certainly won't stop living because of you.

There are already plenty of uncertainties in the future that scares us, sometimes enough to not want to live through them, I havent any room to get affected by the things that I won't remember years on.

The worst you experience in people can break a day and potentially become burdens that would make you disregard the good. So I have decided to let the bad affect me just slightly (only because I can't help it) before placing them into a bottomless jar so darkness can consume itself. This jar shall be entitled "Not worth my time, energy and pain. Shame on you."

This year meant so many things and the best part of it all is to still be here, even though a little different on the inside but with the same people that i hold dear near, while thinking of the ones who are far away knowing that we would meet again someday.

I remember feeling a little lost at this time of last year and the best gift I received was a new year, this year. Similarly heartbreaking on the bad days but more beautiful than ever.

Whatever makes you happy.

Good or bad, everything passes.