Oh no! I am seriously bugged by what i want to get for everyone for christmas because i really want to make it special this year. There i was thinking that i HAD thought of the perfect gift but i just realised how i cant do that due to certain reasons. So i am falling back on Plan B but Plan B seriously sucks because there is a chance that Plan B would carry through horribly!



I wanted to live-- or at least try to live-- the way I want, with dignity, with courage, with humour, with composure.

You closed your eyes. That was the difference. Sometimes you cannot believe what you see, you have to believe what you feel. And if you are ever going to have other people trust you, you must feel that you can trust them too-- even when you're in the dark. Even when you're falling.

thank you sheila.

im going to live by these quotes.


Anyway i am downloading my christmas songs for this year.

If you are wondering why im so nervous about making christmas as special as i can for people i love, its simple. I feel like ive been taking more than i should. I suddenly felt the urgent need to show that i cherish before it is too late. They say change is the only constant. Its christmas again, perhaps it would be different but the people i love and care for will never change. There may be additions to the playlist but the old remains.

Cartwheels- last year's song but im listening to it again. The music is so beautiful it breaks you. Especially when the violin part comes in. I dont know if theres such a thing but positive pain overwhelms me. The lyrics of the song is filled with so much sardonicism its so bittersweet.

Anyhows, im still doing cartwheels.

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