I think you may never read this, I don't know if I want you to. If you do, could you never bring it up?

I meant it when I said that you screw me up and I guess you did too when you said that I did the same to you. Such a constant struggle it is to remain inside the container of myself, a spacious surrounding that I've built over the years. Interacting with the world through a glass that keeps shattering and piecing together is so unnerving. I feel like i can explode from shaking and keeping my feet firm on the ground at the same time.

I daydream too much for my own good but even within the emptiness, an underlying intensity boils deep within. It comes from the fear of losing everything that I may never have had in the first place.

The unbelievably depressing moments erases the distance that I create from you and the happiness takes me away. Strange it is that i am only honest when i say that i am dishonest.

Too much complexity that we can't fathom yet we hold on to a faint picture. I am so careless for the things of utmost value to me but put my care into shit that ain't worth a second of my time.

There is no point to this post but thank you for having been patient with me. I don't know if i can get better.

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